(905) 441 0770 allen@allenehlert.com

Difficult Conversation Strategies

by | June 30, 2025

…How to Navigate Tough Talks into Strategies That Turn Tension into Trust

There’s a moment in almost every deal where things get uncomfortable. Maybe a seller is stuck on a dream price that’s long gone, or a buyer gets cold feet after a scary inspection report. Their voices tighten, their questions get pointed, and you can almost feel the tension rise in the room.

That moment? That’s your invitation to step up—not just as a salesperson, but as a trusted advisor who can lead people through high-stakes, emotional decisions without losing the relationship.

Here’s how you do it.

I’d like to talk about:

What Client Anxiety Is — and Why It’s Legitimate

Where Client Anxiety Comes From

Difficult Conversation Strategies (with What to Say)

Real-Life Examples to Put These Tactics in Motion

Allen’s Final Thoughts

What Client Anxiety Is — and Why It’s Legitimate

Anxiety shows up when clients feel vulnerable, overwhelmed, or out of control—and that’s exactly how buying or selling a home feels when things get messy. They’re making huge financial decisions, sometimes tied to family, divorce, relocation, or retirement. That gut-clenching feeling isn’t irrational. It’s human.

Your job isn’t to fix their feelings. It’s to help them move through them, calmly and confidently.

Where Client Anxiety Comes From

It’s usually tied to one (or more) of these:

  • Uncertainty: Not knowing what comes next
  • Loss of control: Feeling powerless
  • Financial fear: Worrying about debt, price, or market shifts
  • Emotional attachment: Memories tied to the home
  • Outside pressure: Friends, family, or social media advice

Knowing what’s behind the worry helps you respond with empathy instead of ego.

Difficult Conversation Strategies Realtors Can Use

Lead with Empathy, Not Ego

Don’t start with stats—start with heart. People want to feel seen before they’ll listen.

What you can say:
“I can tell this is a lot to process, and I totally get that. It’s a big moment, and it makes sense to feel the weight of it.”

Why it works: It calms the nervous system and sets the tone for a productive conversation.

Use Data as Your Wingman

Once they feel heard, bring the receipts—comps, feedback, days on market.

What you can say:
Here’s what we’re seeing across similar listings. These homes sat longer when they priced too high. This is how we protect your equity.”

Why it works: It shifts the conversation from emotion to informed decision-making.

Ask, Don’t Argue

Instead of debating, invite them into the process.

What you can say:
“Can you walk me through how you landed on that number? I want to understand your perspective fully.”

Why it works: It disarms defensiveness and builds collaboration.

Normalize Their Concerns

Make their feelings feel normal—not embarrassing.

What you can say:
A lot of my clients feel this way, especially when offers don’t come in right away. You’re not alone.”

Why it works: It takes the edge off shame or self-doubt and allows them to shift gears with dignity.

Use the Power of Silence

After you deliver tough news, don’t rush in. Let it breathe.

What you can say:
“Based on everything we’re seeing, I’d recommend we reposition the price.”
Then pause. Count silently: one-Mississippi, two-Mississippi…

Why it works: Silence gives them space to reflect, process, and respond with less emotion.

Pre-frame Tough Topics Early

Get ahead of discomfort by naming it before it happens.

What you can say:
“If we don’t see strong interest in the first 10 days, we’ll want to revisit price. I’ll walk you through what that would look like if we get there.”

Why it works: You’re making future conversations feel expected, not confrontational.

Use Analogies to Shift Perspective

Storytelling opens minds faster than statistics.

What you can say:
“Think of it like fishing. If we use the wrong bait—meaning price—we might be in the right lake but never get a bite.”

Why it works: Analogies turn abstract concepts into vivid, relatable images.

Stay Future-Focused

Remind them what all this is really about.

What you can say:
“Let’s focus on getting you into that next chapter—whether that’s a bigger home, downsizing, or relocating. This move is the path to that.”

Why it works: It grounds them in purpose and forward momentum.

Reframe ‘No’ as ‘Not Yet’

If they push back, don’t push harder. Leave space.

What you can say:
“Totally your call. If or when you’re ready to revisit our strategy, I’m here to walk you through it.”

Why it works: It keeps the door open without triggering resistance.

Bring in a Third-Party Expert When Needed

Sometimes hearing it from a new voice is the breakthrough.

What you can say:
“Would it help to speak with my mortgage partner Allen? He can break down how rates are affecting buyer behavior and what that means for your sale.”

Why it works: It adds credibility and gives you a trusted ally in the conversation.

Bonus Strategy: Practice Makes Professional

Role-play these conversations. Test them with a peer or mentor. Record yourself. Every rep builds confidence.

What you can do: Build a mini-script library for common tough talks—pricing, inspection blowback, lowball offers, rate anxiety, etc.

Real-Life Example: Putting This into Practice

You’re meeting with a seller after 12 showings and zero offers. She’s panicked and feeling judged.

You start with empathy:
“I can feel how disappointing this must be. I’d be frustrated too.”

Then show the data:
“Here’s what the market’s saying. We’re priced above every home that’s sold in the last 30 days.”

Then use silence. Don’t rush. Let her fill the gap.

Finally, offer collaboration:
“I’ve got two routes we can take—either hold a little longer or reposition. What feels like the right next step for you?”

That’s how you lead without pushing—and earn deep trust in the process.

Allen’s Final Thoughts

Hard conversations aren’t side quests in this business—they’re the main path. These are the moments when your professionalism, empathy, and leadership come together. When you lead with heart, back it with evidence, and stay steady when others get shaky, you don’t just earn respect—you earn relationships that last.

And you’re not alone.

As your mortgage partner, I can help:

  • Join client calls to unpack rate fears and lending delays in plain English
  • Provide up-to-date rate visuals to support your pricing or buyer strategy
  • Create pre-written conversation guides for tough money-related topics
  • Co-host webinars or team training to role-play high-stakes scenarios with you

You bring the vision. I’ll back it with solutions. Together, we’ll guide your clients through uncertainty and into action—with confidence and clarity.

Mortgage and Money Radio Logo
Allen Ehlert

Allen Ehlert

Allen Ehlert is a licensed mortgage agent. He has four university degrees, including two Masters degrees, and specializes in real estate finance, development, and investing. Allen Ehlert has decades of independent consulting experience for companies and governments, including the Ontario Real Estate Association, Deloitte, City of Toronto, Enbridge, and the Ministry of Finance.

Private Mortgage Surge

The Surge in Private Mortgages

Surge in Private Mortgages: If you’re a homeowner, buyer, realtor, or financial professional, you’ve probably felt it already. Deals are more complex. Financing conversations are happening earlier. And outcomes that used to be automatic now require real strategy. That’s not a slowdown—it’s a shift.

A Fixed Game

The Mortgage Business is Fixed

… How the Canadian Financial System is Fixed to Favour Chartered Banks If you’ve ever felt like the big banks are always one step ahead in the mortgage market—leading on rates, staying open when others pull back, and somehow winning business even when their products...
10 Principles of APR

The 10 Principles of APR

10 Principles of APR: But APR — the Annual Percentage Rate — is where the real truth lives, not in the advertised rate—which is NOT what you pay. APR exists to answer a more important question: what does this mortgage actually cost once everything required is accounted for?

Is Mortgage Lying

Is Your Mortgage Rate Lying to You?

Is Your Mortgage Lying? The interest rate is only part of the story. The real story—the one that tells you what the mortgage actually costs you—is hidden in a number most people barely glance at: APR.

Shadow Banking

My World of Shadow Banking

… Inside the Black Box of Mortgage Lending and Real Estate Finance Most Canadians think mortgages are simple. You walk into a bank, talk to someone behind a desk, sign some papers, and that’s that. Clean. Simple. Straightforward. That’s so yesterday! But the truth—one...
Prime Rate Change Calculator

Prime Rate Panic-Proofing

Prime Rate Impact Calculator: If you’ve ever watched the news, heard “rates are moving,” and felt your stomach drop a little—yeah, you’re not alone. Most Canadians don’t actually need more opinions about interest rates. They need clarity. That’s exactly what my Prime Rate Impact Calculator is built to do: turn prime-rate chatter into real numbers you can understand, stress-test, and use to make smart decisions

What I do

What a Mortgage Agent Does

What a Mortgage Agent Does: My world of real estate finance is like a black box to most people, including financial professionals like bankers, lawyers, accountants, and financial planners. Sure, they might have some high-level exposure and education to the general concepts around real estate finance and mortgages in particular, but how my world works from the inside and what really goes on is a mystery and hidden from public view, especially that part of my world that is shadow banking.

10 Benefits of Variable

10 Big Benefits of Going Variable

Variable Mortgages. If you’ve ever surfed—or even watched someone surf—you know it’s all about balance. You don’t fight the wave; you ride it. That’s exactly what it feels like to hold a variable-rate mortgage. Sure, the water can get choppy, but if you’ve got good footing, it can take you further, faster, and often cheaper than the safer route.

Land Transfer Tax Calculator blog

Canadian Land Transfer Tax Calculator

Land Transfer Tax Calculator: Buying a home in Canada is a thrilling adventure — whether it’s a downtown condo, a family home in the suburbs, or a cabin near the lake. But between deposits, inspections, and closing paperwork, there’s one cost that often catches buyers off guard: the Land Transfer Tax (LTT).

Carrying Costs Calculators

Home Carrying Cost Calculators

… Understanding Carrying Costs: The Unsung Hero of Smart Homebuying When most people think about buying a home, they focus on one number—the price tag. But seasoned buyers, realtors, and mortgage professionals know that the real story lies beneath the surface. The...