… The Power of Saying ‘I Like You’: How Simple Honesty Builds Trust and Lasting Connections
Here’s the truth — most of us walk through life under-liking each other. We think nice things about people but never say them out loud. We meet clients, realtors, or partners and assume they know we appreciate them. But here’s the kicker: they don’t.
Whether it’s in romance, business, or friendship, the same rule applies — people can’t read your mind. The number one thing that builds connection and comfort is expressing genuine liking. When clients know you like them, they relax. They trust you. They start opening up about what they really want, and that’s when the real magic happens.
Before I dive in, here’s what I’ll cover:
The Psychology of Being Seen and Valued
Simple Ways to Show Genuine Liking
A Story About How One Compliment Changed Everything
Putting It Into Practice (for Realtors and Clients)
Why We Withhold Our Liking
Somewhere along the way, we were taught that being too open, too friendly, or too complimentary might seem unprofessional or overfamiliar. So, we hold back. We think, “They know I like them — I’m being polite, aren’t I?”
But politeness isn’t connection. Politeness is surface-level; liking is emotional depth. When we withhold our liking, we deprive others of the very thing that builds trust — affirmation.
Think about it: how are people supposed to know they can trust you, work with you, or feel safe with you if they don’t even know that you like them?
The Psychology of Being Seen and Valued
Humans are wired for connection. When someone expresses genuine liking — “I enjoy working with you,” “You’re such a great communicator,” or even “That was really fun” — it releases serotonin in the brain. That’s the feel-good chemical tied to comfort, safety, and happiness.
And here’s the twist — showing liking doesn’t just make them feel good. It makes you more likeable, too.
Why? Because we naturally like people who like us.
When you tell someone something positive and authentic about themselves, you’re not just complimenting them — you’re telling them, “You’re safe with me.” That’s the foundation of every trusting relationship — whether it’s a first-time homebuyer, a stressed-out client, or a realtor partner juggling multiple deals.
Simple Ways to Show Genuine Liking
Expressing liking doesn’t have to be dramatic. It just needs to be specific and sincere. Here are a few easy ways to do it:
Verbally:
Say what you’re feeling in the moment.
- “This conversation’s been great.”
- “You make this process fun.”
- “I always enjoy chatting with you.”
Nonverbally:
Your tone, body language, and energy do half the talking.
- Smile and nod when they speak.
- Lean in slightly when they’re sharing something meaningful.
- Laugh easily and warmly — not a polite chuckle, but a genuine “I’m enjoying this.”
These signals — whether verbal or not — say: “I like being around you.” And that instantly builds comfort.
A Story About How One Compliment Changed Everything
A while back, I met a couple who were nervous about buying their first home. The husband was analytical, the wife quiet and cautious. The meeting started off stiff — lots of crossed arms and short answers.
Halfway through, I noticed something — the wife was incredibly organized. Her notes were colour-coded, every document labeled. I paused and said, “I just have to say — I love how prepared you are. You’re making this so easy for everyone involved.”
She lit up. Her husband smiled. The tension melted. That small moment of genuine liking changed the entire energy in the room. They opened up, asked questions, and laughed a little. By the end of the meeting, we weren’t just talking about mortgage terms — we were having a real conversation about their dreams and their fears.
That’s what happens when people feel liked. They let their guard down — and that’s where trust lives.
Putting It Into Practice
For Realtors:
Start your client meetings or showings with a simple compliment or statement of appreciation. It doesn’t have to be forced — just find something real.
- “You’ve got a great eye for detail.”
- “You’re really easy to talk to.”
- “I always look forward to working with you.”
You’ll be amazed at how quickly walls come down and how smoothly communication flows afterwards.
For Clients:
Don’t be afraid to tell your mortgage agent, realtor, or lawyer when you appreciate their help. Saying something like, “I really enjoy working with you” turns a professional interaction into a partnership.
It’s not just about being polite — it’s about being human.
Allen’s Final Thoughts
At the end of the day, liking is the bridge to trust. And trust is everything — especially in the mortgage and real estate world, where decisions carry weight and emotions run high.
If you want people to open up to you, to feel comfortable sharing their goals, or to follow your guidance confidently, start by telling them what you like about them.
Connection doesn’t happen by accident. It happens when we let people know they’re seen, valued, and appreciated — right there in the moment.
As your mortgage agent, that’s what I strive for every day. Whether we’re discussing rates, pre-approvals, or long-term financial planning, my goal is to make sure you feel comfortable, informed, and cared for. I’ll help you understand every step, introduce you to trusted professionals, and ensure that your mortgage experience feels supportive — not stressful.
Because at the heart of every good deal is a good relationship — and that starts with simply saying, “Hey, I like working with you.”
